Monday, April 23, 2012

His presence in my life...

I had a rough week last week.  It wasn't particularly terrible... it was more the type of week where for some reason beyond anything you can pinpoint, even the normal is somehow harder to deal with. Do you know the feeling?

By the time Sunday came, I was hungry for the comfort of God's presence...not that I can't get that at home...but somehow it's easier when I'm surrounded by others who are also there to worship, just like I am...when the music is live and the musicians are listening to let the Holy Spirit lead.

I begged God to be there for me in worship, too, rather than just everybody else. The last few Sundays, I'd had others around me saying that worship was special, but I hadn't experienced that special connection with my God that others had. I had sung specials on Easter morning that touched people--songs that had touched me during the week at home--but on Sunday morning, I hadn't been overwhelmed by God's presence like I wanted to be. (Though that's probably a good thing. I find it difficult to actually get sounds to come out my throat when God's presence overwhelms me, which would have made it rather difficult to sing the solos and leads that I needed to so the others could be ministered to.)

But this Sunday was my Sunday. Especially after last week, my hunger for God's presence was pretty high.

I think my worship leader friend the Holy Spirit handpicked every song for me, too.  They were all among my favorite, which meant I had no difficulty singing them from the bottom of my heart. They were also all rather simple to play, which meant I could focus more on my Savior and less on my fingers finding the right chords on the keyboard. And I didn't have to lead any of them, which meant that if I got beautifully overwhelmed with His presence and found myself unable to sing, it wouldn't matter. Bliss!

I'm sharing this for two reasons.  First... so, so many people pull away from God in the rough times. Maybe they don't really comprehend the love of a Father who still wants you to come running to Him when you've been grouchy and irritable and impatient all week long.

But that's not where hope is found. Hope is found in knowing what to do when life is rough, as it definitely will be.  As my pastor so beautifully reminded us all of yesterday, the best and only worthwhile thing to do is to go to Him. Let Him have it all... the good, the bad, and the ugly, and let His presence meet you where you're at and minister to you what you need most.

One of the songs we sang yesterday was "Presence." I love this song... here are the words, abbreviated:

I lift up my voice
To the King, King of Glory
I hold out my hands
To the One who is worthy
I long for Your presence
I long, Lord, I need Your touch

Come, O Lord, and fill up my life
With the light of Your presence
This is my heart's desire
O Father, come and let Your Spirit abide
I long for your presence
This is my heart's desire

I long to be washed
In the well of Your mercy
I long to be warmed
By the fire of Your glory
I long for Your presence
I long for Your healing touch

It's my desire
Lord, it's my desire
Lord, You're my desire
I want to feel Your presence
I want to feel Your presence, Jesus...

And right in the middle of the song, He spoke to me. He whispered, "That's My desire, too... for your presence."  Me!  The God of the universe wants my presence!
 
It took my breath away. But it's there, all the way through the Bible, isn't it? Remember when I did that Bible study on how God speaks all five love languages, and I found myself overwhelmed with His desire to spend Quality Time with me?

Then we sang "All My Life." Here are the words:
My freedom, my reason
My savior that's what You are to me
You free me, complete me
My Savior's that's what You are,

There's no other like You
There's no one beside You
You're more than my heart can contain

And I will love You all my life
For You are my reason the one that I live for
And I will love You all my life
For You are my reason
You're the one that I live for

There's something about singing those words..."You're more than my heart can contain" that pretty much begs Him to show you just how true that is. And oh He did. Again. He overwhelmed me just with Himself.

I am so very, very grateful that whether or not I can enter His presence isn't dependent upon me having a good week! We are so very, very blessed that all we have to provide is a humble, seeking heart. His grace provides all the rest.

Do you need to do some worshiping, just like I did? Here are these two powerful songs:



1 comments:

  • Crown of Beauty says:
    Monday, April 23, 2012

    I love this post, I love your honesty above all.

    Reading this post really touched me deeply. I didn't even know you played the keyboards, or that you were a worship leader. Amazing... I have known you for many years, and yet, there are still very very many things about you that I do not know. And vice versa.

    But you are a gem to me, Katie.

    And I am thankful that God has given you to me to be my friend.

    I love the songs too... will try to download them from YouTube.

    Never heard them before.

    Love
    Lidia

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