Thursday, January 17, 2008

Holding on...

How many of you are holding on to something that God has shown you, or promised you? I'm guessing that many of you are... which means you know some of where we're at right now. Yes, we're here in Ohio, but God hasn't given us a house yet. I must be totally honest and say that, financially, Ohio has fallen short of our expectations... specifically in my husband's job. They weren't exactly telling him the total truth when they offered him the job here.

So we've found ourselves struggling to keep from slipping down the avalanche of doubt... clinging with all we're worth to what feels like a small ledge on the mountain... reminding ourselves that God knew exactly what the job would be like up here, and He does have a plan to provide for our needs, and can't lie. He has not failed us yet... not in the smallest particle. He just hasn't seen fit to show us how He will provide next month, or the month after.

So what do you do when your expectations fall through?

Do you blame God? I know many people do, but I honestly don't see the point in doing that. Who am I to think I have the right to tell Him what He should and shouldn't do? I'm human; He's God. I have a partial memory of my past, a limited knowledge of my present, and only hopes for my future; while He's got better than 20/20 vision on all three, for every human who ever has and ever will walk the earth. It makes sooo much more sense to trust Him...

But can you trust Him when your expectations fall through? That is sometimes more difficult, although it shouldn't be. Either you trust Him and are willing to submit to His will, or you don't and you fight Him your whole life long. Either He knows your future as well as your past and loves you and wants the best for you despite that past, or... well, there is no “or” because He does, even when our free will gets in the way and we jump down that avalanche of doubt. Even then, He's there waiting for us to “lift our eyes to the mountains, where our help comes from.” (Psalm 121:1) Me... I'd rather keep holding on and trust that His hands are also surrounding me, even when I can't see them.

He doesn't seem to mind when we ask for a little sign of some sort just to give us a glimpse of those hands, either. Want to hear a story?

My husband works outside, and Monday was another difficult day with little work. Early afternoon came, and with it came a gentle snowfall... which isn't good. He can't finish a job when there's any type of precipitation. It interferes with the urethane and literally makes doing the job impossible. So he prayed: Lord, I really need this job, and I can't do it in this snow. Can you please stop it just long enough for me to do what I need to do?

Moments later, the snow stopped... for the five minutes he needed to finish the critical part.

He called me up, excited. “Guess what God did!”

I listened, grinning madly. “Well, obviously, God put his hand out over you to hold the snow back over your job for you.”

“Yeah,” he said, “but when I finished, it didn't just start snowing gently again, it was dumping.”

“Of course!” I answered. “The snow that He held back had to come down still. It was catching up! Just remember this next time you're tempted to doubt that God cares about little or big things.”

He was quiet for a few seconds. “Yeah, I guess you're right.”

But I've been holding onto that this week, too... just another reminder that God IS in control, and He IS looking out for us, and He DOES love us. That little – or not-so-little – gift He gave us has made it so much easier to trust.

And you know... that ledge we're holding onto isn't all that small after all. Not when it's really the Rock of Ages.

2 comments:

  • annie says:
    Thursday, January 17, 2008

    :) Good post. Great story, too. Your writing is really good too. :)

  • Ryan says:
    Tuesday, January 22, 2008

    Katie, this is so encouraging for me. I just relocated as well and have gone through a period of doubting, but I'm starting to see God's hand in all of it and I'm excited to see what He does in my life for the next little while.

    Great post! Thanks for sharing that.

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